Are You Giving Off Negative Energy? The Answer is Probably Yes.
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Energy is an interesting concept. It make us move, do, and accomplish. The problem is there are different kinds of energy, and the type of energy you get will dictate the type of work you get done with it.
Consider this: Someone writes an opinionated post. It gets 60 comments, but over half the people hated it. Was the post successful?
The post may have moved people to do (in this case add a comment) but in the end, No, the post was not successful (unless your idea of success is pissing people off). Not because people didn’t like the post - if they didn’t like it they wouldn’t respond. People hated what was written because the post gives off negative energy.
You could argue the audience is negative, but how do you attract a negative audience? By being negative. And that’s the crux of energy: negative energy breeds more negative energy, while positive breeds more positive.
Here are some simple ways to test whether you are giving off negative energy:
Are you sharing an opinion or attacking someone not like you?
I see this the most when I tell people I’m married, and lately when I tell people I’m getting an MBA in entrepreneurship.
But let’s stick to marriage: It’s fine if you want to be single and think getting married when you are young is a bad idea. What I don’t understand is why I can link to so many articles like these.
Have your opinion, but let people make their own choices - what’s right for you isn’t right for them and vice-versa.
Do you focus on the things you hate?
I’m a firm believer that we move towards the things we think about. There’s a girl I know whose entire MySpace page is dominated by her pet peeves - she has about 30 of them. Thirty negative thoughts! I wonder how much time she spent creating that list - how much energy she wasted thinking of all the things that piss her off.
Focus on things you like. Focus on what you like about people. Leave the ranting and raving in a notebook on your nightstand, and make sure the notebook burns nicely.
Do you exclude others?
Extreme example: One of my friends got engaged in college (after me), and the next day a group of our friends threw a “Not Engaged” party. Invitation reads: “We’re having a party for all of those people who aren’t engaged. Everyone is welcome… unless you’re engaged.”
Surprisingly, they weren’t trying to be mean; rather just trying to establish a bond with other people like them. That’s a completely normal need, but be careful how you do it - it should never be at the expense of someone else.
Nobody is perfect and we all have bad days. Furthermore, growing and maturing is a slow process and most of us will never get to the point where we don’t give off negative energy in some way. Wouldn’t it be nice though, if we all made an effort to give off positive energy instead?
What other ways do people give off negative energy?
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Monica O'Brien is the founder of Twenty Set, a website about personal and professional growth and development for the Millennial generation. She has been a blogger since 1998 when blogging was still in its “Dear Diary” form and in May 2007 began blogging for personal branding and profit.
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Hey Monica,
Great points, we agree completely - focusing on the positive is a great way to live.
It’s funny how people who are overly negative are very infectious to those around them, are are people who are very positive. Which is why so many people are drawn (often times unconsciously) to negative people.
Have an awesome day!
Dan & Jennifer
Dan,
I’m sorry, I wasn’t intending to attack your post like that; it just seemed like a good example of how people view my marriage. What you wrote is nothing compared to the guys who tell me flat out to my face why I will be divorced by 30. Or who place bets on how long my marriage will last. Maybe I should have written about that instead
Hey Monica,
Absolutely not, don’t give it a second thought! Especially since it struck a personal chord with you.
I’m really glad that you saw a piece on our site that inspired you to write about something close to your heart. One of our major goals is to inspire thought, strike up conversation, and get people talking.
Ouch, that’s just poisonous, I would do whatever I could to eliminate anyone like that from my life whenever possible.
Jennifer and I try hard to only associate and surround ourselves with people who radiate possibility, opportunity, passion, happiness, you get the point.
As I said, a highly positive person is just as infectious as a highly negative one.
Have an awesome day!
Dan & Jennifer
Dan,
I only wish I could get away from these people, but unfortunately it won’t be happening anytime soon. I’ve learned to not let the comments bother me - it’s tough to offend me to begin with, and it’s a lot tougher when I don’t have respect for the person.
Thanks again for being a good sport, and I appreciate the links you forwarded along to me. Your website is interesting - who doesn’t love talking about dating and sex? You provide a unique perspective on popular romance issues.
Hi Monica, I know where you’re coming from. Whenever I tell people how old I am, they are shocked. They tell me I look about 6 years younger. This would be great if they followed it up with “what’s your secret?” or “good for you” instead of going on and on in disbelief, which just comes off as rude and feels as if they are attacking me.
It would be great if people would keep their judgments to themselves. Or better yet, if people could just stop being judgmental!
Congratulations on finding a partner early in life and getting an MBA
Monica I really like this post! I am someone who is really sensitive to “absorbing” whatever energy is being given off by the people I surround myself with. For that reason I try to stay away from the negative types.
I can also relate to the negative comments about marrying early - I got married at age 24. It has always really irritated me when people think they are doing me a favor by telling me how stupid it is to get married at a young age. While I respect their opinion, and agree that marrying early is not the right choice for everyone, I think it is the right choice for some people(including myself!), and don’t think its appropriate to go around lecturing about what is “right” and “wrong” for such a personal decision that is different for everyone.